150 cc's! (Pics)

This last inflation felt a bit different than previously.  I kind of felt myself blowing up with saline and it was more painful than previously and it lasted about 2 days.  I feel my range of movement decreasing and because of the pain (and exhaustion) I didn't go to physical therapy.  Sleeping has been a bit more uncomfortable too; laying on my back is the only position that isn't painful.  I USE to be a stomach sleeper!  lol

Each week is a little different than the previous - physically and emotionally.  I try to stay strong, but honestly, my self esteem is decreasing.  I don't want to say it is because of my physical appearance, even though I want to lose weight but because I can't do a lot of things, especially exercise.  Its is getting hot here in Vegas, I love this weather.  I love being by the pool in the sun and I can't because of my antibiotics, it specifically advises to stay out of direct sunlight.  I love playing softball and that reason is obvious as to why I can't play .. for a while and right now seems like it is going to take way too long.  Sometimes I get sharp pains in my breast and I feel uncomfortable when I am at work because I hold myself in hopes that it will go away.  I feel like I am going to get written up because I am essentially feeling my self up at work (that part is a little funny). 

Even though I have these downs my attitude does go back up.  With all of these hurdles previously and the ones that I will face, I have no regrets.  Given the chance, I would do this all again.  Its worth not having the risk of breast cancer over your head.

Now on to the pictures... it doesn't seem like a huge difference, but I feel that it is! 

Good news/Bad news

I had my appointment with my infectious disease Dr. today.  When I first go into the office I check in and get a copy of my blood results.  My results were wonderful and I was so happy and excited to know that this portion of my recovery is coming to a close.  Once the Dr. came into my room to review everything, he agreed that my blood results looked great.  Then I felt like he kicked my feet right from under me.  He said that I have to monitor myself and come in if there is anything wrong since I have a 55% chance of getting the infection back within 3 months-6 months.  :(  Those aren't good odds and I do not have good luck to beat those odds.  Needless to say, I was really upset.  I feel better now that I had some retail therapy and my little guy was being so good while I was taking my time scanning the racks.

I need to take the best care of myself.  We've been enjoying one of the farmers markets here so we already have fresh fruit. :)  Exercise will be hard, especially upper body, but I will do what I can.  Now that the initial shock of the high reoccurance rate of an infection, I am in high spirits.  I just want to make sure that I do everything that I can to get this infection out of my body! 

2nd Inflation = 100cc's (Pictures)

I have finally taken new pictures after my 2nd inflation.  I am up to 100cc's now!!!  It isn't a considerable difference, but I think it is apparent that they are bigger! 

I ended up going to the Dr. today because of the pain, bruising, and swelling on my left side (on the pics, its the right side).  The symptoms were just too close to the previous symptoms of an infection but its normal.  My Dr. did recommend to not be so active.  I haven't really done much, or so I thought, but now I really can't.  It hurts, still.  Not the shooting sharp pains, but an burning type of ache, a little more than a dull pain.  Its hard to describe, but I am constantly aware that there is a balloon thing in my left side.

 

 

^^I thought I would do a more personal shot of my lady lumps!  My chest is red because my meds make me light sensitive so after a few minutes outside I get color, and not a lovely glow.^^

 

 Not a clear picture, but you can tell on the right I'm a bit purple.

My left side. 

Ok - so its totally embarrassing but you can kind of see it here.  I have said previously that I have internal stitches on the sides of my chest to keep the expanders in place.  My body is trying to heal, so they kind of itch.. in my armpit (my theory, I keep forgetting to ask the Dr.) !  It is horrible, I hate, hate it!  So - I am kind of inflamed there too.

 

Right side

 

Up close and personal for the left side.  Of coarse the ugly white lines are stretch marks, not from surgery and inflation but from my 2 pregnancies.  I am self conscious about those and not my incision scar, thats a little ironic.  But I have earned my tiger stripes! 
 

 

And now the right.

 

 

I don't know if I will have another inflation on Thursday, but I do go in anyway to see how things are.  I won't be disappointed if I have to wait another week since I am in pain.  I just had lab work done tonight with an appointment with the infectious disease Dr. Wed to go over the results and check status of my infection.  I am looking forward to that appointment and I have positive thoughts for good results! 

 

I will keep you posted! 



Venting and thoughts

I meant to post new pictures tonight of my 2nd inflation but all of a sudden I am not feeling well and I'm getting sharp pains and swelling on the left side.  I hope I am overreacting, but the last time my right side was swollen and in pain, I got an infection.  I have a headache and getting a few hot flashes, but my temperature is normal.  Also, my left side looks like it is bruised from an infection.  I ended up putting a bag of ice under my shirt at work today.  At first it was kinda funny, but then I became more self conscious and worried.  I have yet to call my Dr., hoping this will all subside in an hour or two. 

As far as my second inflation go, I noticed immediately that I was bigger and I filled out my zip up sports bra more; there wasn't any fabric bunching where a breast should be!!  I get very excited when Thursday rolls around as that is the day of my inflation appointments!  I am already looking forward to next week!

So the HUGE news of the week was Angelina Jolie publicized her PBM!  The Internet buzzed, blogs blew up, and that was all the chatter at the Drs. office.  Since I heard the news, I advised a few people of my surgery and it was so much easier to just say - you heard about Angelina?  That was the surgery I had, same scenario.  There are a lot of people that have been aware of this gene mutation for years and years, and I knew if I was positive for the mutation that I would have a PBM,, so this is nothing new for us.  However, there are so many people, even women, haven't' heard about this option for women.  I am looking forward for Angelina to come out with more information in addition to explaining to women that her surgery recovery time was the most ideal situation. I am counting on atleast 10 months total from mastectomy, physical therapy, inflations, implant surgery and healing.  It actually sounds like a lot when I type it all out! 

I am hoping that I can blog tomorrow with pictures of my lovely lady lumps.  I am so much more proud of them now than before.  They're certainly getting more attention than before!  lol

My First Inflation!!! (Pictures)

 

This has been an eventful week!  I need to get better about posting again.  With kids, school, family, and starting work, I get busy!  Monday started off rough since my inflation was cancelled for the THIRD time!  Ok, I'm thinking, don't let this get me down!  So I started my IV but my picc line was clogged, I don't know what was up with it, but it was going slow!  Throughout the weekend I spend hours doing it just one time.  By Monday morning, I start my first antibiotic and it took 2 hours to get 1/3 done, so I stopped and called the Dr.  Long story short, went in, I was told to just suck it up and do what you can.  Tuesday came and my IV was not dripping AT ALL!  So no infusion on Tues and had an appointment for Wed.  The nurse Wednesday removed my extenders from my picc line.  (I needed them so I could reach the ends with both hands to hook up the meds.)  One those were removed my IV dripped good, a bit slow, but not bad at all.   Then the good news - I got my picc line out!!!!!!  It didn't hurt to be removed at all and I was so happy I couldn't stop smiling!  No more weird cuff on my arm to hide the tubes, no more tubes, and no more wasted hours being pumped full of meds!  My skin can finally grow back now that I don't have adhesive on it constantly! 

 

So here comes Thursday morning!  I was late waking up and for my first inflation appointment!  I was freaking out especially since I have been waiting so long for this.  I arrived 20 minutes late but they were cool about it and I was seen pretty quick.  I was SO excited!  I will have to take a picture of the syringes next time cause they are big and cool looking! lol  Basically, the Dr. found the spot to insert the needle into the expander and pumped 50 cc's of saline into each side.  Here are the results:

 

 

 ^^ Right side.  This angle is hard to take by yourself! 

 

 

Left side

 

Up close and personal.  You can see a tinge of purple, that is just the marker from the Drs. so she knew where to put the needle.  I would say I went from a training bra to an A cup! lol The right side looks distorted from the picture angle.  The one below is better.

 

 

Here you can really tell where my bra goes!  Just a regular ol' sports bra, the ones that I used to wear.  I have zip up bras but they are kinda weird right now since I don't have anything to fill them out with. 

 

There you have it!  I will have another appointment this week that I am as equally excited for!

 

Postponed again!!!

Sorry, I haven't blogged in a while, I've been pretty frusterated the last few weeks.  My inflation appointments keep getting pushed back!  I should be 150cc's bigger and I haven't even had my first one.  As I am typing, I understand how trivial this sounds, compared to cancer or complications that others are facing.  It is just affecting me emotionally and I am starting to get self concious.  I feel that I have been upbeat but I have plateaued in my recovery.  Thursday is supposed to be the day of my first inflation (fingers crossed)! 

On a good note, I only have 3 more days with my picc lines and doing my infusions.  On a negative note, my picc line is clogged or something is going on with it so my hour and a half infusion takes about 4 hours now.  My IV drip is so slow and then it just stops.  I have two lines coming out of the picc so one is better than the other.  I am supposed to alternate lines, morning and night, so I try to do the AM line first but it ends up just stopping.  So I switch to the other line and it drips but slooooww. o_O . I ended up going to the Dr. yesterday and the flush to 'fix' this problem is on back order!  I was so frusterated when I heard that!  Supplies being on back order is causing all of this delay, inflations and picc line!  The Dr. didn't want to take my picc out and didn't want to replace it since I only have a few days left, so I have to just sit and deal with it.. and that is what I am doing.

On a better note, Saturday was the 5K Susan Komen Race for the Cure.  It was my first race and I was lucky enough to have my husband with me and I joined a friends team.  Of coarse we walked; I can't run or jog, yet.  It was very inspiring and I had just a glimpse of how many people are affected by breast cancer.  There were 12,000 people that signed up for the race, I don't think there were that many there but there were thousands of supporters and survivors there, it was a big event!