Its been quite a while since I have posted. Everything has been going well! I'm able to do all activities that I did before my surgery and there is only minor pain sometimes. When I do something with my upper body it doesn't really hurt but the flexing of my pectoral muscles feels kind of weird. Lol
Something new, as of 2 weeks ago, I bought real bras!!! With under wires! !! Previously, I just wore sports bras or ones that look like a cami top (if that makes sense). Unlike augmented breasts, we need something that helps keep the shape of our breasts. This is the reason for the change and after a week I can see my foobies take better shape. :) I was determined to find a pretty bra that didnt show excessive fabric where my nipple should be or dent in. I found one; Kohls brand - Apt. 9. Its lacy with no padding and it fits well. It takes sometime to get use to it since its been well over a year since I've had a bra on. They also come in large sizes too! I'm in a 40D.
The day has finally come that I am getting my 3D nipple tattoos. I'm so nervous!!!! What size, what color do I choose? Is there a formula for placement!? Lol I trust my Dr., so I'm sure that everything will be ok. This will be my first tattoos, ever! Part of my hesitation to get any tattoos is the thought of an obvious imperfection, size, placement will drive me nuts! I have to trust that everything will turn out great and I will be satisfied with the results. (Still nervous)
Since my implants, its been a bit hard on my self esteem. After my surgery and during the expansion process, I felt great; empowered that I am taking control of my body and my cancer risk. But when everything was done, my self esteem went down. It was a bit emotional especially when I would look down, still thinking I would see a nipple, and there wasn't anything there. I had looked for bras previously but got so upset because the bras didn't look right. It took me until a few weeks ago to suck it up and go on a mission for bras. I wasn't stopping until I found something I was looking for. A pretty bra makes a big difference!!!
I was also discouraged when I was training for a job that required a physical; I had to do push ups, among other things. It was so hard to build up my stretched, stitched together muscles, but I did ... a little bit. I took my physical and couldn't finish the required amount of push ups. I admit it, I cried. I thought - are those muscles (pecs) just destroyed, will I ever build it up, or is this something I just have to live with? Those questions are unanswered.
This day is dragging!!! I've waited for this day since March 2013 and even though I'm nervous I'm even more excited!!! I will follow up with pics in a day or so!!!
