Getting my tattoos today!

Its been quite a while since I have posted.  Everything has been going well!  I'm able to do all activities that I did before my surgery and there is only minor pain sometimes.   When I do something with my upper body it doesn't really hurt but the flexing of my pectoral muscles feels kind of weird. Lol 

Something new, as of 2 weeks ago, I bought real bras!!!  With under wires! !! Previously, I just wore sports bras or ones that look like a cami top (if that makes sense). Unlike augmented breasts, we need something that helps keep the shape of our breasts.  This is the reason for the change and after a week I can see my foobies take better shape. :)  I was determined to find a pretty bra that didnt show excessive fabric where my nipple should be or dent in.  I found one; Kohls brand - Apt. 9. Its lacy with no padding and it fits well. It takes sometime to get use to it since its been well over a year since I've had a bra on.   They also come in large sizes too! I'm in a 40D. 

The day has finally come that I am getting my 3D nipple tattoos. I'm so nervous!!!! What size, what color do I choose? Is there a formula for placement!? Lol I trust my Dr., so I'm sure that everything will be ok.  This will be my first tattoos, ever!  Part of my hesitation to get any tattoos is the thought of an obvious imperfection, size, placement will drive me nuts! I have to trust that everything will turn out great and I will be satisfied with the results.  (Still nervous)

Since my implants,  its been a bit hard on my self esteem. After my surgery and during the expansion process, I felt great; empowered that I am taking  control of my body and my cancer risk.  But when everything was done, my self esteem went down.  It was a bit emotional especially when I would look down, still thinking I would see a nipple, and there wasn't anything there.  I had looked for bras previously but got so upset because the bras didn't look right.  It took me until a few weeks ago to suck it up and go on a mission for bras.  I wasn't stopping until I found something I was looking for.  A pretty bra makes a big difference!!!

I was also discouraged when I was training for a job that required a physical; I had to do push ups, among other things.  It was so hard to build up my stretched, stitched together muscles, but I did ... a little bit.  I took my physical and couldn't finish the required amount of push ups.  I admit it, I cried.  I thought - are those muscles (pecs) just destroyed, will I ever build it up, or is this something I just have to live with?  Those questions are unanswered.

This day is dragging!!!  I've waited for this day since March 2013 and even though I'm nervous I'm even more excited!!!   I will follow up with pics in a day or so!!!

70 days later.. (Pics)

 

It has been quite a while since my last post.  I think it has taken me so long because the Dr. appointments have ceased and it feels like life is getting back to normal.  I feel normal, or what I remember as normal.  I can do almost everything that I could before, I have even started playing softball again!!!!! (Still need to get used to these big boobs though!) 

There are a few things that I found as troubling, though, and that is finding bras!!!  Thus far I have only worn sports bras, as instructed from my Dr.  She said I needed to wear one for 6 weeks and have padding in them.  I am a 40DD and it was so difficult to find something that felt good.  My Dr. suggested it not be too tight.  From my understanding, sports bras are supposed to be a little tight to keep the girls in but I searched for even bigger bras!  After many department stores and seeing the cost, I flipped out.. I am NOT spending $50 on a sports bra because I need a large one!  I honestly found front zip up sports bras, with padding (also suggested by the Dr.) at Walmart.  Score!!!  Even trying on the expensive ones, they felt so uncomfortable.  I am not a petite person, I am big boned with broad shoulders and I was coming up short.

I think I could start wearing actual bras but it makes me nervous.  It sounds funny but its true.  I wanted to find a sexy bra so I went into Victoria's Secret and was so overwhelmed with it I just went to their lotion section instead. lol 

I have also started working out.  The restriction that my Dr. gave me is do not work out my pectoral muscles ...  no prob, didn't plan on it anyway.  You would be surprised, though, of how many exercises requires your chest muscles to constrict.  Especially ab exercises.  So I have been trying different types of exercises to find which one is going to work for me without working out my chest.  This too makes me nervous.  I am not sure if I am experiencing pain or if it is a weird feeling when those muscles tense but I try not to do it. 

My foobies feel real ... well, they feel like real fake ones.  Someone told me that they wouldn't feel the same because I didn't have any breast tissue, but I've done side by side comparisons and mine feel pretty normal!  AND they're not hard as rocks anymore!!!!!

I feel great!  I am surprised how quick this recovery is from the first surgery.  At this point, I have to get used to everything again.  I was so used to not doing certain things but now it is different.  I am still taking it easy, I am know the pain that I can experience if I don't and I do not want to feel that again!

My next step are my nipples!!!!  Sadly, I have to wait for those.  My skin in so thin, my Dr. doesn't think it is a good idea to get my nipple tattoos for 1 year from the last surgery.  It would be nice to be 100% complete, but I am still on cloud 9 that the surgeries are over and I feel quite normal!!! 

Time for pictures: