Seven Hundred! (Pics)





I think I am nearing the end of my inflations, I am at 700 cc's now!  I'm getting pretty large!  My Dr. said she wanted to wait 3 weeks until my next inflation so my skin can get a break; you can see with the pictures that it is pretty thin.  She also said, during my next surgery, she will probably go through the side breast instead of reopening the existing incision.  I can understand this reasoning, however this will also mean more scars and lack of sensitivity in that area.  I have little to no feeling around my scars now, however, I can feel pain through out my whole breast. 

 

Some of the pain I experience is similar to how it felt when I first started breast feeding my kids; that burning sensation, that is one of my common pains.  I also experience pain as if I have a tiny underwire bra on that squeezes and pokes.  With that said, I also feel stronger!  I am positive and excited about my next surgery and recovery!

 

I don't know if I have previously shared, I have been using Bio Oil on my foobs to help the skin rebuild and to try to minimize scarring.  Nothing dramatic has happened, but I have heard other women have used in on their mastectomy scars. 

 

I have finally gotten to the point where I look in the mirror and think - these are big!  Previously I have mentioned that my chest didn't appear big, other than in pictures; this is no longer the case.  After the 3 weeks, I will get at least 1 more inflation and then I want to start evening out the size to match my right to the left side.   

 

Nipple Confusion and Tattooing - Cool link w/ nipple tatts

A good friends sent me these links regarding a tattoo artist.  He is very good at nipple tattoos and has pictures of his work; the link is below with an article and gallery of his work. 

Since the beginning, before I even had surgery, I knew I didn't want to keep my nipples.  What's the point?  I have already breast fed my kids and I'm not having anymore, so take 'em off!  3D tattooing was the nipple option I was moving toward.  I haven't heard or seen good results from saving your nipples or nipple reconstruction; my decision is probably driven by my mom's unsuccessful nipple reconstruction.  I don't want to go through surgery just to have the new nipples die and fall off due to lack of blood supply.  I think that would be traumatizing. 

So I was set - 3D tattoo all the way, but I don't know what has changed lately.  I think I am mourning my nipples because I have nipple confusion now!  (Well, kind of, ultimately I know I am getting the tattoos... maybe?? ) I am thinking about - what IF I get reconstruction, would it make me like my foobies better?  I look at it this way - men/women love breasts and when you are intimate with your partner, breasts and nipple are big players in intimacy.  I have my lady lumps and they're going to look good, scarred, but I am confident they will be nicely done, but what fun are they going to be!?  I know its a bit silly but that is where my nipple confusion lies.  My husband says it doesn't matter but I kind of feel that it does.  He's not going to love me any less or be less attracted to me, but I don't to be missing anything. 

Ultimately, tattooing, for me, is the way to go and if it looks similar to ones that are in Vinnie Myers gallery, I will be one happy lady! 

Until now, I haven't seen any actual pictures of nipple tattooing and I think it looks great and I love that women have this option now!

Article:

http://www.vice.com/read/breast-cancer-survivors-find-the-michelangelo-of-nipple-tattoos

His gallery:

http://vinniemyers.com/section/105672_Nipple_Areola_Tattooing.html

Inflation pics - 650!

It is so bizarre to see these pictures after my inflation because they do not look like this to me in the mirror.  I guess I have a distorted view when I have the full picture.  I downloaded them to my computer and I said to myself, 'woah, they DO look like tiny bowling balls!' (My daughter said that earlier today) lol 

After much thought, I have decided to wait until December for my exchange surgery; hoping Dec. 20th.  (I feel that I have already blogged about this .. oh well, here it is again.)  I will be ready for my exchange surgery Oct/Nov but because of my school schedule and the fact that I have to attend class rather than online, I should wait.  Fall semester is my last semester before I graduate and I don't want to juggle surgery, healing, and classwork .. again!  My graduation is set for Dec 17th, I believe, then a few days later, going under the knife!  I decided to do this before the beginning of the year for insurance purposes.  All of my deductibles will have to be met again.  I will end up paying them, eventually, but I don't want to deal with that before surgery and have to come up with a chunk of change right after Christmas.  Yes, this means on Christmas I won't be out throwing snowballs around .. haha .. like there is snow in Las Vegas, ever!  Either way, I think it is the best time to do it and my Dr. should still be available at that time too.  Fingers crossed! 

One last thing, I cleaned out my underwear drawer of all my bras.  I can't believe I had so many!  I think because I would buy some without getting rid of any, I'm sure I am not the only one that happens to.  I haven't officially gotten rid of them, but they're out of my drawer!  I think its part of mourning my old breasts??

And now on to the pictures..



 

I LOVE this quote.  When deciding to have my PBM I just kept telling myself, I have to get this done because I don't want cancer in my life story!  And I just found this; thought it was perfect for this posts cover photo!

 



^^ (Sigh) One is still different than the other.  I know the Dr. said it was normal but I'm just ready for symmetry!  This appointment, the Dr. also said that mine look really good considering the expander's aren't meant to look good, just serve the purpose of expanding the skin and muscle.  I should be thankful for that...

 

 

Right ^^

 

 

Left

 

 

 My view .. and not a bad view either!  lol

 

I don't have another inflation until 8/15, my Dr. wants to give my skin some healing time before another inflation.  The inflation process is starting to slow down and I am nearing the results I want to end up with!  Exciting!!!

 

 

600! Pics!

I can't believe I have had 9 inflations already, 600 cc's! 

You can see on the right side (my left) that it is a little purple where the incision is; my Dr. said that is due to my skin thinning out.  She isn't concerned about this however at the time of the 2nd surgery, she may do a skin graft if it is really thin at that time. 

 

^^ Right Side

 

 Left Side

 

My view.You can see the difference between fullness and shape.  One side is more rounded while the other is flat and one expander is a little higher than the other.  I addressed the issue of the size difference with my Dr.  She said that she will adjust the size toward the end of my inflations by inflating one side more than the other, but right now it is normal.  She can also make adjustments at the time of surgery too.

 

 

 This is what my chest looks like when I flex my chest muscles.  Its interesting looking on the upper  portion of my chest. lol I doubt that this look will differ with implants since my muscle will still be over them but I am not self conscious about it. 

 

Inflation Pics! 550 cc's!

I know I have  been slacking with posting pictures, my apologize!  I started my summer classes a week and a half ago and its been a little time consuming especially with my computer being difficult! 

I was feeling very nervous about last weeks inflation because of the extreme pain that I experienced the last two times.  This week I only experienced minimal pain, completely bearable!  I think the difference is that I stretched my chest muscles afterward and the following day.  I suppose that I will find out tomorrow with my next inflation.  I am optimistic that it will be very minor pain. 

 My left side is bigger than my right side which is making me a little self conscious :-/ but I am going to discuss it with my surgeon tomorrow.  I don't know if this would be corrected during my transfer surgery or she can inflate the right side more this time.  Either way, the left side is my favorite! 

Looking at these pictures, I can see that my foobies are pretty big!  When I look at myself in the mirror, with clothes or a bathing suit on, they don't seem that way.  Tomorrows inflation will be 600 cc's!  I think I will stop at 700; 650 cc's are probably a good size but it was recommended to go 50 over! 

I have yet to talk to my Dr. about my 2nd surgery, types of implants like round or tear drop, silicon or saline ... so many choices!!!!  I will update you all with those answers once I have them! :)

 

 Woah, they're getting BIG!!!

(I really don't have a double chin, its just the angle! haha)

 

 

 

 

^^ Right Side

 

Left Side ^^

(the good side!)

Just some random thoughts on my expansions

I don't know about anyone else, but I almost lost count of my inflations and how many cc's I have in my expanders!  500!!!  I can't believe it.  I had previously said that I want to go to 550 but I don't know now, I want a little bit bigger.  I have also heard to go 50 cc's above what you want to go.  So maybe 650!? ;-) 

This will have to be a prolonged process, instead of 3 more inflations, I may have to do 6 because of the extreme pain that I have been in.  I think I am going to see my Dr. rather than the PA my next visit, so we can decide together.  I was supposed to have an appointment tomorrow but couldn't work it out with work so it will be 3 weeks in between my inflations.  I am too upset about that since I don't want to be in pain but it is also prolonging this process. 

I want to have my 2nd surgery before the new year, partially because I don't want to pay my deductible again!  lol  We'll see, I start class next week for summer session then I will start fall semester (my last semester!!!) in August, I don't know if I want to deal with class work, surgery and healing at the same time.  Its not something that needs to be decided right now, so I will make the decision soon.

Video of my inflation (Don't watch if you don't like needles!)

Finally I have the video to share!  I tried to edit the video to remove all the dull parts put it was a pain! lol  I have the full video from the markings using the magnetic device and both 'breasts'.  I had my 8 year old daughter take the video with my phone, she did a pretty good job!  You can see me fill up, I think its kind of cool!