70 days later.. (Pics)

 

It has been quite a while since my last post.  I think it has taken me so long because the Dr. appointments have ceased and it feels like life is getting back to normal.  I feel normal, or what I remember as normal.  I can do almost everything that I could before, I have even started playing softball again!!!!! (Still need to get used to these big boobs though!) 

There are a few things that I found as troubling, though, and that is finding bras!!!  Thus far I have only worn sports bras, as instructed from my Dr.  She said I needed to wear one for 6 weeks and have padding in them.  I am a 40DD and it was so difficult to find something that felt good.  My Dr. suggested it not be too tight.  From my understanding, sports bras are supposed to be a little tight to keep the girls in but I searched for even bigger bras!  After many department stores and seeing the cost, I flipped out.. I am NOT spending $50 on a sports bra because I need a large one!  I honestly found front zip up sports bras, with padding (also suggested by the Dr.) at Walmart.  Score!!!  Even trying on the expensive ones, they felt so uncomfortable.  I am not a petite person, I am big boned with broad shoulders and I was coming up short.

I think I could start wearing actual bras but it makes me nervous.  It sounds funny but its true.  I wanted to find a sexy bra so I went into Victoria's Secret and was so overwhelmed with it I just went to their lotion section instead. lol 

I have also started working out.  The restriction that my Dr. gave me is do not work out my pectoral muscles ...  no prob, didn't plan on it anyway.  You would be surprised, though, of how many exercises requires your chest muscles to constrict.  Especially ab exercises.  So I have been trying different types of exercises to find which one is going to work for me without working out my chest.  This too makes me nervous.  I am not sure if I am experiencing pain or if it is a weird feeling when those muscles tense but I try not to do it. 

My foobies feel real ... well, they feel like real fake ones.  Someone told me that they wouldn't feel the same because I didn't have any breast tissue, but I've done side by side comparisons and mine feel pretty normal!  AND they're not hard as rocks anymore!!!!!

I feel great!  I am surprised how quick this recovery is from the first surgery.  At this point, I have to get used to everything again.  I was so used to not doing certain things but now it is different.  I am still taking it easy, I am know the pain that I can experience if I don't and I do not want to feel that again!

My next step are my nipples!!!!  Sadly, I have to wait for those.  My skin in so thin, my Dr. doesn't think it is a good idea to get my nipple tattoos for 1 year from the last surgery.  It would be nice to be 100% complete, but I am still on cloud 9 that the surgeries are over and I feel quite normal!!! 

Time for pictures:

 

 

Healing (Pics)

It has been 2 weeks since my surgery.  The staples are still in; the top ones look a little bit red still but I think that is normal.  I am still having pain especially when my son forgets I am healing and jumps on or head butts me.  I don't know if I mentioned this previously but my foobies are a few degrees cooler than the rest of my body.  Left side cooler than the right; so weird! lol 

Even though I have pain, I think that I would have more pain if I wasn't numb where the staples are.  When I reach, even a little, I feel the pulling.  I don't push it because I don't want to tear something because I have a high threshold for pain and don't realize it.  Still no driving, tried but it hurts right away. 

I have been wearing sports bras with the front clasps I can wear a 40D but a 40DD is a bit more comfortable.  I went bra shopping yesterday and it was difficult!  I didn't try anything on, but finding something that I am looking for was hard; finding a front closure sports bra and because of the size.  (1st world problems, huh) 

Now some pics:

You can still see bruising.

 

 

  See the top two staples, a little red.  :(

Looks like the top and bottom ones are red here too. 

 

With this picture, I just noticed how bad the swelling still is.  My left side (right side on picture) is pretty bad .. compared to the other one. 

 

Implant Surgery!

I have been waiting to update my blog with inflation pics before I write about my switch out surgery!  Last Friday the 13th (I met my husband on a Friday the 13th, so it is a lucky day for me/us!) I had my last surgery; removal of my expanders and received my silicon implants. 

Initially I was worried about surgery being so late in the day, 3:30 pm.  I know my Dr was having a lot of surgeries that day before she was going back to her family for Christmas; I didn't want her to be tired.  I know that is a silly though since she is a professional but when you have a lot of waiting time on your hands, stuff like that just pops up!  I was at the hospital at 1:30 for my 3:30 surgery.  I ended up being my Drs last surgery at 6:30p ... 3 HOURS late.  It was a bit annoying but the Dr said that she didn't want to be pressed for time with my surgery so  she decided to do it last.  By the time I was in O.R. holding, I didn't care, I was ready. 

The day before, I was at the hospital for my pre-op.  This includes blood and urine tests and an EKG.  One thing that was new this time is that I got a pretty orange bracelet that I needed to wear until after surgery.  The Dr. ordered blood typing (I think that is what they called it), in case I needed a blood transfusion.  I got nervous because I didn't have that before.  I was thinking - did the Dr. think I was going to lose a lot of blood!?  It was just for a precaution and the nurse said that it wasn't common.  I let it go after that otherwise I would have been a wreck. 

After surgery I felt immediate relief since my expanders were out.  It was great!  I had more movement that I did with the first surgery too.  The most pain that I experienced, initially, were my muscles.  All of my muscles were so sore, even my legs and my abs and neck.  It was really easy to over do it, which of coarse I did. 

My foobs definitely feel different, I was brave enough to poke them. lol they're squishy, like real breasts!!!  I do have bruising and they're cold to the touch.  Its honestly weird since I have had rock hard foobs for a long time, they didn't move.  My new foobs move, jiggle, look and feel like real breasts.  They don't appear to be as big as my expanders, but I think that is because the expanders stuck straight out.  I will post a picture soon to compare.  I also think that the right one is STILL smaller than the left but I am not going to focus on that until I am fully healed.  I am sure it is just in my head lol.

I will be posting soon!

Getting the CC's straight! (Pics)

So, I am getting more up-to-date now with my posts.  Still kicking myself because I got behind on my public foobie diary!  I have been a little confused/lazy about my saline amount.  My last inflation I received different amounts of saline in my right and left side.  So, if you have already noticed the mistake, thanks for not calling me out on it!  lol

Before the inflation that I am about to blog about, my right foobie has 850 cc's of saline and my left side has 800 cc's.  I received another 50 in my left and a big 100cc's in my right.  The pictures that you see below, my right side is 950 and my left is 850.  Whew, glad I got that figured out!!!  lol  This is what happens when I get behind; playing catch up is a pain!

At this point my right side has been the most painful right after the inflation and a few days afterward.  Ibuprofen and a heating pad help A LOT!  A heating pad is a must for those who are going through this.  Even if you can't put the heating pad on your chest you can lay on it and it can help when the heat is on your back.  My Dr. makes sure I know that I can't use ice, even though sometimes that would seem to help.

I am getting excited.  My journey is almost complete!

 

 

 

 Woah - They are big!  I got really lucky with the shape during the expansion process!

 

Inflation - 850cc's!!!! (Pics)

After a 3 week waiting period, I received another inflation.  I was starting to get really self conscious about my right breast so I asked if I could receive more saline on that side.  I was just thinking like an extra 15cc's but the Dr. said that it is usually about a 50 cc difference.  So I received a total of 150 cc's last Thursday!  100 in my right and 50 in my left and it made a big difference, definitely evened them out in the appearance of volume.  The unusual part was how my right side felt during the inflation, like my expander shifted a bit.  I felt that twice.  In addition to that, it seemed like the corner of the expander was sticking out, you can kind of see it in my pictures but it isn't as predominant as the first 2 days. 

The day of the inflation there was dull pain but I felt that at any moment I was going to get a shooting pain but that never came.  It wasn't until the next night that I felt the pain and I couldn't sleep.  I had a heating pad on my chest the whole night and kept my 800 mg Ibuprofen as close as I keep my cell phone.  Today, 6 days later, I feel a lot better, just some pain here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary.  I went in to see my Dr. the following Monday, just to make sure I was feeling ok, didn't need a deflation (I thought that I might for 2 days) and check my expander cause it was really sticking out. (I meant to take a picture but never got around to it.) 

I go back to the Dr. in 2 weeks for a possible inflation.  I am satisfied with my size.  I even tried on bras to see what cup size 850 cc's really was.  I am a 38 D!  I took a picture on my phone, I will have to add that later; I made sure I tried on a pretty bra. lol  I have heard that women go 50 over what they really want so my next inflation will be my last.  Very, very exciting news, I am really reaching the end!!!! 

Before you move on to the pictures, please keep in mind that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.  Last year  I was determined to get my genetic test done in October, as this has been hanging over my head for around 10 years when my sister found out she had cancer and the BRCA 1 gene mutation.  I urge you to at least get a mammogram, go see your GYN for your annual exam, if you have a family history of breast cancer, get the BRCA test.  Yes, this stuff costs money but payment plans are always available.  Just be aware!  Know your options!  If not for yourself, your family.... Just do it!

 

 My left side still has the appearance of more volume, my right side is higher (the pictures show opposite sides), but overall, these are good results given the fact that they are just for expanding the muscle and skin.  I have seen photos of women where their breasts are ovals on one side, one noticeable higher than the other (just during the expansion, not with implants) so I am happy with how lucky I got with these results.  I can wear a low cut shirt and be proud of my cleavage!!  Even if I was considerably lopsided, I still would consider myself lucky because I don't have cancer! 

Seven Hundred! (Pics)





I think I am nearing the end of my inflations, I am at 700 cc's now!  I'm getting pretty large!  My Dr. said she wanted to wait 3 weeks until my next inflation so my skin can get a break; you can see with the pictures that it is pretty thin.  She also said, during my next surgery, she will probably go through the side breast instead of reopening the existing incision.  I can understand this reasoning, however this will also mean more scars and lack of sensitivity in that area.  I have little to no feeling around my scars now, however, I can feel pain through out my whole breast. 

 

Some of the pain I experience is similar to how it felt when I first started breast feeding my kids; that burning sensation, that is one of my common pains.  I also experience pain as if I have a tiny underwire bra on that squeezes and pokes.  With that said, I also feel stronger!  I am positive and excited about my next surgery and recovery!

 

I don't know if I have previously shared, I have been using Bio Oil on my foobs to help the skin rebuild and to try to minimize scarring.  Nothing dramatic has happened, but I have heard other women have used in on their mastectomy scars. 

 

I have finally gotten to the point where I look in the mirror and think - these are big!  Previously I have mentioned that my chest didn't appear big, other than in pictures; this is no longer the case.  After the 3 weeks, I will get at least 1 more inflation and then I want to start evening out the size to match my right to the left side.   

 

Inflation pics - 650!

It is so bizarre to see these pictures after my inflation because they do not look like this to me in the mirror.  I guess I have a distorted view when I have the full picture.  I downloaded them to my computer and I said to myself, 'woah, they DO look like tiny bowling balls!' (My daughter said that earlier today) lol 

After much thought, I have decided to wait until December for my exchange surgery; hoping Dec. 20th.  (I feel that I have already blogged about this .. oh well, here it is again.)  I will be ready for my exchange surgery Oct/Nov but because of my school schedule and the fact that I have to attend class rather than online, I should wait.  Fall semester is my last semester before I graduate and I don't want to juggle surgery, healing, and classwork .. again!  My graduation is set for Dec 17th, I believe, then a few days later, going under the knife!  I decided to do this before the beginning of the year for insurance purposes.  All of my deductibles will have to be met again.  I will end up paying them, eventually, but I don't want to deal with that before surgery and have to come up with a chunk of change right after Christmas.  Yes, this means on Christmas I won't be out throwing snowballs around .. haha .. like there is snow in Las Vegas, ever!  Either way, I think it is the best time to do it and my Dr. should still be available at that time too.  Fingers crossed! 

One last thing, I cleaned out my underwear drawer of all my bras.  I can't believe I had so many!  I think because I would buy some without getting rid of any, I'm sure I am not the only one that happens to.  I haven't officially gotten rid of them, but they're out of my drawer!  I think its part of mourning my old breasts??

And now on to the pictures..



 

I LOVE this quote.  When deciding to have my PBM I just kept telling myself, I have to get this done because I don't want cancer in my life story!  And I just found this; thought it was perfect for this posts cover photo!

 



^^ (Sigh) One is still different than the other.  I know the Dr. said it was normal but I'm just ready for symmetry!  This appointment, the Dr. also said that mine look really good considering the expander's aren't meant to look good, just serve the purpose of expanding the skin and muscle.  I should be thankful for that...

 

 

Right ^^

 

 

Left

 

 

 My view .. and not a bad view either!  lol

 

I don't have another inflation until 8/15, my Dr. wants to give my skin some healing time before another inflation.  The inflation process is starting to slow down and I am nearing the results I want to end up with!  Exciting!!!

 

 

600! Pics!

I can't believe I have had 9 inflations already, 600 cc's! 

You can see on the right side (my left) that it is a little purple where the incision is; my Dr. said that is due to my skin thinning out.  She isn't concerned about this however at the time of the 2nd surgery, she may do a skin graft if it is really thin at that time. 

 

^^ Right Side

 

 Left Side

 

My view.You can see the difference between fullness and shape.  One side is more rounded while the other is flat and one expander is a little higher than the other.  I addressed the issue of the size difference with my Dr.  She said that she will adjust the size toward the end of my inflations by inflating one side more than the other, but right now it is normal.  She can also make adjustments at the time of surgery too.

 

 

 This is what my chest looks like when I flex my chest muscles.  Its interesting looking on the upper  portion of my chest. lol I doubt that this look will differ with implants since my muscle will still be over them but I am not self conscious about it. 

 

Inflation Pics! 550 cc's!

I know I have  been slacking with posting pictures, my apologize!  I started my summer classes a week and a half ago and its been a little time consuming especially with my computer being difficult! 

I was feeling very nervous about last weeks inflation because of the extreme pain that I experienced the last two times.  This week I only experienced minimal pain, completely bearable!  I think the difference is that I stretched my chest muscles afterward and the following day.  I suppose that I will find out tomorrow with my next inflation.  I am optimistic that it will be very minor pain. 

 My left side is bigger than my right side which is making me a little self conscious :-/ but I am going to discuss it with my surgeon tomorrow.  I don't know if this would be corrected during my transfer surgery or she can inflate the right side more this time.  Either way, the left side is my favorite! 

Looking at these pictures, I can see that my foobies are pretty big!  When I look at myself in the mirror, with clothes or a bathing suit on, they don't seem that way.  Tomorrows inflation will be 600 cc's!  I think I will stop at 700; 650 cc's are probably a good size but it was recommended to go 50 over! 

I have yet to talk to my Dr. about my 2nd surgery, types of implants like round or tear drop, silicon or saline ... so many choices!!!!  I will update you all with those answers once I have them! :)

 

 Woah, they're getting BIG!!!

(I really don't have a double chin, its just the angle! haha)

 

 

 

 

^^ Right Side

 

Left Side ^^

(the good side!)

Inflation from 2 weeks ago

Its been a while since I have posted anything, I wouldn't say I've been busy but with my birthday, the 4th of July, and doing fun things like movies and pool time I just haven't got to post pictures or edit a video that my daughter took of my inflation.

This inflation hurt just like the last one and I have had some sort of pain since.  I even broke down and asked for stronger pain meds, which have helped.


I will post the video of the inflation soon, I want to edit it so there is not so much useless video.  That will be coming soon.

 

Last weeks inflation! 450cc's

I am still in a bit of pain but not too bad so I took some pictures.  My chest feels heavy and it is still painful with or without a sports bra.  I have settled in with the fact that the remainder of my inflations are going to come with pain and I will probably be in constant, but minor, pain until I receive (and heal) from the implants.  With that said, I still do not regret my decision. 


450 cc's!  I think 2-3 more inflations and I will be done!  I'm fairly tall, athletic build, so I think my body can handle bigger breasts.  Time will tell!  I can always take out saline if I don't like them. :)