Getting my tattoos today!

Its been quite a while since I have posted.  Everything has been going well!  I'm able to do all activities that I did before my surgery and there is only minor pain sometimes.   When I do something with my upper body it doesn't really hurt but the flexing of my pectoral muscles feels kind of weird. Lol 

Something new, as of 2 weeks ago, I bought real bras!!!  With under wires! !! Previously, I just wore sports bras or ones that look like a cami top (if that makes sense). Unlike augmented breasts, we need something that helps keep the shape of our breasts.  This is the reason for the change and after a week I can see my foobies take better shape. :)  I was determined to find a pretty bra that didnt show excessive fabric where my nipple should be or dent in.  I found one; Kohls brand - Apt. 9. Its lacy with no padding and it fits well. It takes sometime to get use to it since its been well over a year since I've had a bra on.   They also come in large sizes too! I'm in a 40D. 

The day has finally come that I am getting my 3D nipple tattoos. I'm so nervous!!!! What size, what color do I choose? Is there a formula for placement!? Lol I trust my Dr., so I'm sure that everything will be ok.  This will be my first tattoos, ever!  Part of my hesitation to get any tattoos is the thought of an obvious imperfection, size, placement will drive me nuts! I have to trust that everything will turn out great and I will be satisfied with the results.  (Still nervous)

Since my implants,  its been a bit hard on my self esteem. After my surgery and during the expansion process, I felt great; empowered that I am taking  control of my body and my cancer risk.  But when everything was done, my self esteem went down.  It was a bit emotional especially when I would look down, still thinking I would see a nipple, and there wasn't anything there.  I had looked for bras previously but got so upset because the bras didn't look right.  It took me until a few weeks ago to suck it up and go on a mission for bras.  I wasn't stopping until I found something I was looking for.  A pretty bra makes a big difference!!!

I was also discouraged when I was training for a job that required a physical; I had to do push ups, among other things.  It was so hard to build up my stretched, stitched together muscles, but I did ... a little bit.  I took my physical and couldn't finish the required amount of push ups.  I admit it, I cried.  I thought - are those muscles (pecs) just destroyed, will I ever build it up, or is this something I just have to live with?  Those questions are unanswered.

This day is dragging!!!  I've waited for this day since March 2013 and even though I'm nervous I'm even more excited!!!   I will follow up with pics in a day or so!!!

70 days later.. (Pics)

 

It has been quite a while since my last post.  I think it has taken me so long because the Dr. appointments have ceased and it feels like life is getting back to normal.  I feel normal, or what I remember as normal.  I can do almost everything that I could before, I have even started playing softball again!!!!! (Still need to get used to these big boobs though!) 

There are a few things that I found as troubling, though, and that is finding bras!!!  Thus far I have only worn sports bras, as instructed from my Dr.  She said I needed to wear one for 6 weeks and have padding in them.  I am a 40DD and it was so difficult to find something that felt good.  My Dr. suggested it not be too tight.  From my understanding, sports bras are supposed to be a little tight to keep the girls in but I searched for even bigger bras!  After many department stores and seeing the cost, I flipped out.. I am NOT spending $50 on a sports bra because I need a large one!  I honestly found front zip up sports bras, with padding (also suggested by the Dr.) at Walmart.  Score!!!  Even trying on the expensive ones, they felt so uncomfortable.  I am not a petite person, I am big boned with broad shoulders and I was coming up short.

I think I could start wearing actual bras but it makes me nervous.  It sounds funny but its true.  I wanted to find a sexy bra so I went into Victoria's Secret and was so overwhelmed with it I just went to their lotion section instead. lol 

I have also started working out.  The restriction that my Dr. gave me is do not work out my pectoral muscles ...  no prob, didn't plan on it anyway.  You would be surprised, though, of how many exercises requires your chest muscles to constrict.  Especially ab exercises.  So I have been trying different types of exercises to find which one is going to work for me without working out my chest.  This too makes me nervous.  I am not sure if I am experiencing pain or if it is a weird feeling when those muscles tense but I try not to do it. 

My foobies feel real ... well, they feel like real fake ones.  Someone told me that they wouldn't feel the same because I didn't have any breast tissue, but I've done side by side comparisons and mine feel pretty normal!  AND they're not hard as rocks anymore!!!!!

I feel great!  I am surprised how quick this recovery is from the first surgery.  At this point, I have to get used to everything again.  I was so used to not doing certain things but now it is different.  I am still taking it easy, I am know the pain that I can experience if I don't and I do not want to feel that again!

My next step are my nipples!!!!  Sadly, I have to wait for those.  My skin in so thin, my Dr. doesn't think it is a good idea to get my nipple tattoos for 1 year from the last surgery.  It would be nice to be 100% complete, but I am still on cloud 9 that the surgeries are over and I feel quite normal!!! 

Time for pictures:

 

 

Healing (Pics)

It has been 2 weeks since my surgery.  The staples are still in; the top ones look a little bit red still but I think that is normal.  I am still having pain especially when my son forgets I am healing and jumps on or head butts me.  I don't know if I mentioned this previously but my foobies are a few degrees cooler than the rest of my body.  Left side cooler than the right; so weird! lol 

Even though I have pain, I think that I would have more pain if I wasn't numb where the staples are.  When I reach, even a little, I feel the pulling.  I don't push it because I don't want to tear something because I have a high threshold for pain and don't realize it.  Still no driving, tried but it hurts right away. 

I have been wearing sports bras with the front clasps I can wear a 40D but a 40DD is a bit more comfortable.  I went bra shopping yesterday and it was difficult!  I didn't try anything on, but finding something that I am looking for was hard; finding a front closure sports bra and because of the size.  (1st world problems, huh) 

Now some pics:

You can still see bruising.

 

 

  See the top two staples, a little red.  :(

Looks like the top and bottom ones are red here too. 

 

With this picture, I just noticed how bad the swelling still is.  My left side (right side on picture) is pretty bad .. compared to the other one. 

 

Graphic Pics - Picture timeline

I've wanted to do a picture timeline for a while but I wanted to wait until my implant surgery to do so.  Not quite sure if these are all the front pictures from my blog but close enough. :)  I can't believe that this was just 9 months ago!  This has been quite a journey!  

 

 

 



 

You can see below the start of my infection.  It is very red and swollen above my left fooby (right side of the picture).

This is after I received my picc line and I needed to be stripped back up due to leakage. 

I don't know why this is upside down but I can't seem to fix it so, this will have to do for now! lol

 

Finally - they're mine! (Pics)

I just had my post op yesterday and the Dr. was very happy with her work!  I am happy with her work too.  I definitely had a blonde moment .. well two. lol First my appointment was Thursday instead of Friday, like I thought.  Second being where my stitches/staples were.  I had sterry strips on the sides and under my foobs so I figured that is where the stitches/staples were.  When I first saw my chest I though, wow, that was a big incision but I didn't second guess my Dr. and went with it.  She took the sterry strips off (ouch) and said that the strips were underneath for support.  lmao I felt so dumb but glad it was a small incision.  My Dr. said she wouldn't have made me look like Frankenstein.  (I thought more than I already look.)  I will show you the pics before my appointment and then after I cleaned up my wounds and finally took a nice warm shower!

I can't get over how different it feels from the expanders to the implants.  These awkwardly, hard shaped things in my chest versus soft, round silicon implants.  They move now!  I can cross my arms across my chest!  It hurt when I did it, but it won't hurt forever!!  I want to touch them but that hurts too so I only touch softly sometimes. lol  I put a sports bra on too!!  The Dr. said that I always need to wear a sports bra for 4-6 weeks.  I must say, I don't miss wearing one but at some level its comfortable too.  For those who are curious - I am wearing a 40DD.  I don't know if I am really that big since I am swollen but I am definitely a D!!  I will try on actual bras when my staples are out and I am fully healed! 

I still have no regrets.


Before the appointment, I took a lot of pictures lol

 

I JUST realized that the makes underneath the strips are marker!  I thought they were stitches. haha I feel so stupid but its really funny too!  Also on both sides there are little bumps where my first incision is.  Those will go away.  Part of the yellow you see is bruising and part is iodine that wasn't washed off, yet. 

 

 One thing I hate about surgery is tape and the tape adhesive.  Sometimes taking that stuff off hurts worse!  And its ugly!  The yellow on my fooby is a bruise; that wouldn't wash off.

More bruising... I had a little more bruises a few days after surgery, but these are taken 1 week after.  So a lot of purple, yellow, and pink/red going on.

My view .. looks like I decided to take these pictures in the midst of my daughters mess. haha.  You can see more bruising on the left side.  The Dr. said that was side needed the most attention putting back together.

After!!!!  You see bruising, of coarse.  My left side (your right) looks larger which the Dr. attributed to the fact that it needed the extra attention.  The red underneath is what happens to my skin when tape is removed, takes a small layer of skin off. :(

 6 staples on the right

 

4 staples on the left.

 

And on a non-related note ... I graduated UNLV on Tuesday, 12/17!!!!  It was a long tiring day since it was only 4 days post surgery but I did it!!!!!  :)